I never told anyone, but being used like that had an appeal to me. Where it came from or why I felt it was exciting I was clueless, but it was in my psych, I had a sexual fetish and I used it when I thought about stuff, like when I needed to masturbate, like a **** fetish.We stayed with each other and encouraged by external forces, the inevitable marriage happened, and we settled down in our respective careers and went about this co-existence together, neither in true love, in the emotional sphere, but surviving in the physical nature of the sex we had, but like I said, having sex and thinking about other men doing it to me to make my orgasms better, meant that eventually something would have to give, I wanted other men inside me and to feel them enjoy my body, men who would have to be strangers, 'Wham bang thank you maam' fucking, sometimes I would feel physically sick at the thought, a deep uncontrollable sickness borne from frustration, a feeling men don't understand, until they. ’ ‘You ain’t married yet, Sam,’ Deb said. ‘And you won’t find any hookers in this town.’ ‘I’m not planning on finding out,’ he said with a laugh. ‘What about you, Deb? Wanna get laid?’ She raised an eyebrow at that. ‘My, my. This is getting interesting.’ ‘Hopelessly so,’ Sam rejoined. ‘I’m actually getting concerned. Afraid, even. Two more days and the record’s broken.’ ‘London’s just an hour away,’ I said. ‘Probably one or two hookers there.’ ‘I will if you will, John.’ ‘I guess that answers that question. Maybe that’s why they say ‘Speak now or forever hold your piece.” Of course I said that while grabbing mine. Deb shook her head. ‘Man, I’m sure glad I don’t have a penis.’ ‘Me too,’ Sam and I said, in unison. +++++ ‘I’m not sure what the etiquette is here,’ I said as I looked at Rhea. She was spread out on her bed, naked as the day she came into this world. ‘Do I just dive in, or is there some special kind of way to do this?’ ‘I’m not going to break, John, and I doubt you’ll hurt.
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